Right now I'm chatting with you on the phone. I can really empathise with you,but I just don't know how to console you. I understand what's it like to reach home and feel all lethargic. There's no drive. You just want to rest and hope that you'll feel a little motivated to study after waking up. I can totally relate to it.
Take for instance,today I was really geared up to finish my homework for at least one subject. After breakfast Mum and Dad started bickering over the maid,AGAIN. What really pisses me off is their inability to communicate.One makes a comment,the other interprets it wrongly and this triggers a whole series of quarrels. You guys are grown ups,I shouldn't be the one mediating. And it is really deterring me from studying. I'm really not afraid of blogging about it now. In the past I used to think that it is really unfilial of me to complain about such domestic matters on my blog. But come to think of it,you grownups do not even spare a thought for your own children,and I definitely have no means of telling you guys to shut the F up. The medium I used to vent my anger on was the piano,but gradually you guys found out and told me I should not be affected by your quarrels. Let me tell you,it does. Imagine looking up to your parents as role models of a perfect relationship when you were young. Now you guys communicate through bickering,today you guys were even on the verge of hurling objects(like a ladle cause we were having lunch) at each other. And screaming so loudly the neighbour's dogs started barking. It can even affect a mutt,what more your son? And it's not like I do not have enough problems of my own. It's okay if you guys don't give me the encouragement,just don't add to my emotional burden. Everytime GP talks about marriage as an institution I'll be thinking how crappy it is when it comes to my parents. Maybe that's why I always look forward to family gatherings. That's when my family's the least dysfunctional.
I am not afraid of hanging dirty linen on my blog now. It used to be a taboo,but now I feel that the rest of you reading this blog should be informed and at the same time be enlightened not to follow in the footsteps of my parents.
At least meeting up with Theresa,Fang Ying and Siew Min for shopping did alleviate the agony. I need new shoes, and I need to pass my driving test ASAP. Travelling by public transport can be so time consuming.
And I'm still determined to buy CNY clothes. Even if it means waging a war. I WANT MY NEW YEAR CLOTHES. If not,everyone'll be wearing new clothes when we meet up on 初三.
Call it an influx of vanity,greed for material possession. (Y)